any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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