ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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