bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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