New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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