We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
