After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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