I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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