i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize