I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
