halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
