Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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