i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I party with great urgency now.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
