I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
