apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
