I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
