I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
