Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize