I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize