i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize