hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
