Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
