I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
