you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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