just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
