Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He passed out mid-signature
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
