I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize