No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
