quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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