i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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