Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize