Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
