My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I want to have your abortion
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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