You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
