We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize