Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
