he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
