on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize