he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
How naked do you want me to be?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
