Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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