it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
