But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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