i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
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