I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
