I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He shit in the fireplace
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize