sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
