i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
