I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
