Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
