I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
