Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
