She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he puts the penis in happiness.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
