using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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