when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
