If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
