We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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