we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
