Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
