Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
