he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
no you cant smoke seaweed
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
