Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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