Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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