A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
