I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I need moral support for this bender
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
