i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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