just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
